Wouldn’t You Want to Know If Your Autistic Child Was Being Harmed?


Outline of an adult holding the hand of a child while they stand side-by-side. The adult is on the left and the child is on the right. It is ambiguous if we are viewing their front or back side. Both are surround by a yellow box with a white gradient towards the upper right corner and with rounded corners.
Created by Ezra Katz, Wikimedia Commons / Creative Commons
[image: Simplified all-black figures of an adult holding the hand of a child
while they stand side-by-side, on a yellow background.]

Autistic Science Person
twitter.com/AutSciPerson

I am exhausted by non-autistic parents who:

  1. Ignore the experience of autistic people who went through ABA 
  2. Say ABA “was never like that” for their child 
  3. Assume their child cannot be traumatized long-term because they “seem happy” 
  4. Think we’re saying they’re trash parents

You can’t speak for your kid. You can’t know what they think, what they feel, and what may have caused them long-term trauma that they’ll have to work through.

You. Can’t. Know. That. Right. Now.

That’s not how mental health effects from masking and from sensory invalidation work.

And then I try to remember that when I’m talking to one parent who is speaking over their kid and their experience, five or ten parents are reading that exchange and may be learning from it.

But, honestly it is exhausting to be told as an autistic person that you are somehow vilifying non-autistic parents by letting them know through blog posts, research articles, and primary sources, that ABA is abuse.

I know this might be surprising but we autistics care about autistic kids.

That is, truly, the only reason why I continue to have conversations with parents who are in denial, who gaslight autistic experiences, and claim that we’re calling them bad parents.

All we want you to do is just get info to help your kid. Not to insult or vilify you.

Autistic adults are constantly attacked through misguided feelings of non-autistic people who were told to get this therapy for their kid, and who are now having to face feelings of failure or of betraying their kid because we autistic adults tell them those therapies are actually harmful to autistic kids like we were. And while some parents do face their feelings, others lash out at us with words—and that’s honestly horrible.

I hate that autistic adults have to put up with non-autistic parents’ feelings of inadequacy or doubt or shame or failure. These parents should care about and welcome our input, not harass us and call us bullies. Where is the empathy and compassion so boasted by non-autistic people?

Sometimes these interactions with parents ruin my whole day. It just feels so inconsiderate but mostly— so illogical! Wouldn’t you want to know if a therapy your child was in was harmful to them? Wouldn’t you want to know if your child was in conversion therapy?

Wouldn’t you?!

I would never not want to know something that could prevent my, or someone else’s, pain. I would never not want to know how to help someone I love! It puts me in an executive function loop of why? Why would you want to remain ignorant about this? Why would you not investigate?!

Why not, just to make sure, would you want to sit in on the therapy or take more precautions, or reduce the hours and just see how it goes? Why would you not want that information and have your kid continue something Which Has The Possibility Of Harming Them? Shouldn’t just the possibility of harm to your child be enough to want to listen?

I truly do not know why some parents don’t want to listen to autistic adults. I truly, truly don’t know. There is so much good autism information for parents from autistic adults, and so much of it is freely available, and yet the parents choose not to know. 

I will never know why.

—-

Article based on the author’s recent Twitter thread.





Source link

2 thoughts on “Wouldn’t You Want to Know If Your Autistic Child Was Being Harmed?

  1. Te pongo un ejemplo para que lo entiendas: si hablamos de “colores de cabello” todos podemos decir que hay cabellos rubios, castaños,
    negros, pelirrojos, grises y blancos (en general).

    Aunque también podemos observar que mi castaño, no es exactamente igual que el castaño de mi vecina o que el gris de mi padre no es el
    mismo gris de mi tío. Colocar un ventilador en la pared o el techo puede parecer una tarea
    fácil, pero lo cierto es que hay que tener en cuenta la fuerza
    que este ventilador va a ejercer una vez que está en funcionamiento.
    Simplemente teniendo en cuenta el factor cantidad-precio, un libro contiene de media 20
    o 30 juegos, y tiene un precio de entre 20€ y 60€.

    Sin embargo un “truco comercial”, cuesta mas o menos lo
    mismo, y en el 90% de los casos solo permite realizar un único juego.
    Pueden caer en la pereza, se mimetizan con el entorno y les cuesta mucho expresar sus necesidades.
    No les gusta el conflicto, del que con frecuencia huyen. También hay algunos
    que son planctívoros y probablemente no les irá bien sin un manejo especial.
    Quiero exportar un certificado digital he seguido los pasos
    para poder hacerlo pero me he liado yo solo,
    en la pestaña Personal veo el certificado que quiero Exportar selecciono este certificado y doy a la opción exportar
    a hora me indica que si quiero exportar la clave privada o no (esto no lo entiendo) ¿A clave privada es una
    clave que esta ya generada en mi certificado digital
    de antemano?

  2. Aunque también existe la posibilidad de disfrutar de los beneficios a través de un ordenador mediante el uso de
    emuladores como Bluestacks que funciona bastante bien para sistemas Android.
    Este carácter o personalidad que tenemos nos ha ayudado en determinadas situaciones, pero cuando llegamos a la edad adulta
    tenemos la posibilidad de derribar ciertas creencias o comportamientos automáticos que nos limitan como personas.
    Si hacéis o tenéis azúcar glass lo que sí es muy interesante es rebozarlas en este antes de hornearlas.
    La verdad es que casi todo lo que haces te sale muy bien. Poseen un fuerte sentido del bien y del mal.
    En conclusión, bien sabemos que los dispositivos Smart TV o Android TV
    te permite descargar o instalar las Apps de tu preferencia, así como también desinstalarlas.
    Nosotras nos hemos guiado por los del libro La Sabiduría del
    Eneagrama de Don Richard Riso y Russ Hudson (considerado como una
    de las biblias del Eneagrama) junto con los que utiliza
    de Javier Muro. Utilizando esta herramienta, puedes cambiar directamente la duración del vídeo.
    Por ahora, si no estás familiarizado con la herramienta, simplemente quiero darte unas pinceladas de
    cada eneatipo, basándome en el libro “La sabiduría del eneagrama” de los autores Riso y Hudson.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

close

Health Alerts

Get new posts by email:
RSS52.1k
Follow by Email77.5k
Twitter