What To Do If One Partner Wants Children & The Other Doesn't


One person may dream about being a parent, while the other one wants to stay child-free for life. Here’s what to do if you are in this situation.


Relationships are seldom easy, and there are a lot of challenges that two people have to face. It is two different people coming together to live in harmony, and that is not always easy. While there are some couples out there where the two people are similar in their personalities, values, and morals, that is not always the case.


Some couples are very different. They are not only very different people, but they think differently, and they have different wants and goals in their lives, but they love each other. These differences work for them, and even if they can’t explain it, they know that they love each other, and they want a life together.

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However, there are some things that are bigger than others, and not all disagreements are the same. What can cause a lot of strife between couples is the topic of parenthood. You may have couples who are divided on if they want to have children one day. One person may dream about being a parent, while the other one wants to stay child-free for life.

RELATED: Nobody Is Actually Prepared To Have Children (& That’s Okay)

Since having children is a lifetime decision, it is an important topic for couples who want to spend the rest of their lives together. It can also be a difficult area to navigate, and is it even possible to be together with a disagreement this serious? These are the types of themes we are going to look at in this piece.


Honesty & Communication

Evidence That

Honesty and communication are the cornerstones of every relationship, and they are important when facing these kinds of situations. According to Body and Soul, it is important to have these honest conversations with your partner. It is also important that you are willing to listen to what they have to say. It is important that you really listen, and not assume that they will change their mind, or “come around” to the idea of having (or not having) children. This is the first step to addressing this issue.

Find Out Why

couple arms around each other

When you are trying to figure out if this is a deal-breaking situation, you need to make sure that any underlying problems are addressed. According to Parents, both sides need to be honest about the real reason why they don’t want children. This could be due to financial reasons, fear, or even childhood trauma. If there is a hope of someone changing their stance on having (or not having) children, the real reason why they feel this way needs to be addressed.

When To Say Goodbye

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There is no denying this is a very serious issue, and if couples have tried everything to work through it and stay together, they may need to think about when they should part ways. This can be hard to do when they love each other, but this is a goal for a life that is taken very seriously.

According to Very Well Mind, if one person sees having children as the purpose of their life, it is better to call it quits. If time and conversation have gone on and nothing has changed, it is not likely to change, and this is when couples need to think about their future together. In some cases, couples may want to give therapy a try, because it can help them work through any communication issues.

Sources: Body And Soul, Parents, Very Well Mind



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