was able to rest more. I knew I would be confined to the bed and monitored constantly but I was ok with that. I tried to eat but could not down more than some mushroom broth. I tried to sleep but could not drift off. My OB finally came around to check on me and see how far dilated I was – at that point I was only 6 centimeters dilated. It was discouraging knowing that after all those hours, I was only one extra centimeter dilated but my elation at not feeling the overwhelming sensations of my surges masked that disappointment. I was given more time and encouraged to rest and think positive.
4 hours later, my OB returned to check my dilation again, I was 7 centimeters dilated. Again only another centimeter and I started to worry. Perhaps it was because I was lying down and not in an upright position? We switched my position again, this time with me sitting upright, leaning over several pillows so that my lower body was still supported well on the bed. Because my left side seemed a lot more numb than my right, the midwives were not very comfortable with me going onto all fours on the bed as suggested by my doula. My OB said he would return in 2 hours to check on me again. He was great at comforting me and emphasizing that we would not push for a c-section unless it was absolutely necessary. He advised that my body was contracting like a trooper and the surges were coming strong and steady and baby was not in distress so there was no need to intervene.
While waiting, I tried my best to rest, to breathe and let go of any worries. I used all my resources from hypnobirthing to think positive and envision my baby descending lower and lower. I had conversations with my doula and husband about my worries. I got them to read me the excerpt on the opening lotus flower. At so many points, I felt really emotional and wept thinking about how I had come into the world and the pain that I would have caused my mother. I wept thinking about the last 10 months of being pregnant and feeling my baby’s kicks growing and feeling sick and thinking that I would lose my daughter from a miscarriage in my first trimester. It was like a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions suddenly overcame me. And I could not stop the flow of tears even if I wanted to.
I was checked again 2 hours later by my OB, his expression concerned me this time. He advised that my cervix was swollen from the last time he checked me and that my dilation had remained at 7 centimeters. He also advised that baby was in a good position but baby’s head was now bulging where she was trying to descend further into the birth canal, there was no need to be concerned about bubs having a weird shaped head despite this. Together with my husband and doula, we discussed our options. Because everything was still going well with baby and myself, again using the BRAIN technique, we decided to give it another hour for things to progress naturally.
However, an hour later, when I was checked again, my dilation had regressed to 6 centimeters. Bubs head had not descended any further and my contractions were still going very strong. When my OB noticed that my urine was starting to become blood tinged he advised that there was a definite obstruction now and that it was not advisable to wait any longer. Especially since my cervix was becoming more and more swollen due to the strong contractions as well. We all knew what had to be done and at approximately 10 pm I was wheeled in for an emergency C section.